The Way to Be?

"Childfree"

It's a word!

I've been doing my research!

Now that Mike has made an honest woman out of me, of course, there's the kid question.

And right now we're thinking about it. As we get ready to build our life and our dreams...buy a house...plan careers...

I know people say, "if you wait until you're ready to have kids, you'll never be ready." But I don't want to buy a pricey house only to realize we can't afford it when Little Mike or Little Carrie comes along.

We're leaning toward NOT. That's right...NOT. I'm already an outcast in Sunday school, so being the only woman who hasn't brought forth life from my womb won't bother me.

I can't speak for my hubby as to why he feels the way he does.

I can just say that I have never had that maternal desire or instinct. It's not that I hate kids, I just don't think I want to be around one all the time. I am always stressed out, always worrying, and always high strung. I don't want to bring up a kid in that...they'd turn out like...uh, me.

I like my time alone, I like to eat my food when it's hot, and I LOVE sleep.

But, aside from the "practical" reasons I could list for not having kids that people would try to argue with me about, or give me a parent's 3 favorite words, "it's worth it," it's really just that I don't really, REALLY want any. In my opinion, that's the only reason people should have kids.

Not because it's just something you do, not because you think it will save your marriage or make your spouse grow up, not because you want someone to love you.

I get annoyed when I see people who just have kids. Just because the ole biological clock is ticking. Then the child doesn't feel really welcome and loved and a part of the family. Babies are cute...angsty teenagers are not.

I have concerns, my plan isn't flawless. Who will take care of me when I'm old? But I shouldn't bring a baby into the world and already give him a job! Who am I going to spend the holidays with? Okay, friends, I can cook, so...I should have somewhere to go for Thanksgiving!

I've told people I feel this way, and I get the "WHY NOT? Why would you not want kids?!"

Why am I the one that has to justify my decision?

I will never say never. I am still young, and could totally change my mind. I found that word "childfree" and realized there's a community of people who seem pretty grumpy and have an "us against them" mentality toward people who DO have kids. I don't want to be like that!

I just want to be me. And I want it to be accepted that I am still a whole person who loves life and has a great marriage, whether I have kids or not.

I could write so much more...but I won't. All the parents I know are great; I have so much respect for them.

I just don't want the burden of proof that I'm worth something to be on me...just because I don't think the world needs a mini me.

Besides, I have this: