I Want...

Well, don't we all want a lot of things.

 

But this one is clothes-related. I've recently...uh...all my skinny hipster jeans I bought when I worked at forever 21 have...shrunk in the dryer.

 

Yeah, that's it.

 

So, I just bought these high-rise flare jeans at Old Navy. Love them! It's amazing how much skinnier higher waisted jeans look as opposed to those low-rise pants that hit in that magical muffin top zone.

 

 

So, I'm going to buy more! More I say! The flair reminds me of the jeans that were popular when I was in high school.

 

Which makes me think of my favorite, favorite thing to wear between 6th grade and my freshman year of college:

 

Boots like these...

I LIVED in these for years. I think they were cool at one point.

Wide enough to accommodate my mutant feet. I remember them being very comfortable.

Bad ass.

 

I remember having a pair...wearing them until they literally fell apart...and doing the same with my second.

 

Though I love tucking my skinny jeans into knee high, slip on boots, I crave walking out the door with a feeling of accomplishment, knowing that I spent 10 minutes lacing up those mothers.

 

My go-to kicks were basically Walmart knockoffs of Doc Martens, but now I'm on the lookout for what is apparently now described as "lace up stacked heel grunge boots." Or something.

 

While we're bringing back things from the '90's/very early oughts, here are some other trivial, unimportant things I miss...

 

TRL hosted by Carson Daly

The fully-intact Backstreet Boys

Dawson's Creek

Nickelodeon shows like All That, Roundhouse, and Clarissa Explains it All

"Gangsta's Paradise"

Nirvana

President Bill Clinton

AOL CD's

Saturday Night Live with Molly Shannon, Will Ferrell,  Cheri Oteri, etc. I loved that cast!

 Cheaper Gas

Heath Ledger

 

Reunion?

I have a horrible sleep schedule... and waking up at 2:00 a.m. on Sunday mornings...I find myself watching horrible movies on TBS, like Romy and Michelle's High School Reuinion. Ugh. 

Hey, it's either that or infomercials. Believe me, I get enough Tony Horton already.

Anyway, the timing was right...since I was just included in a facebook group about my own high school reunion. Go Tigers?

Upon noticing the group, I tried to push away the "I'm OLD" feelings and think about how exciting it would be to see everyone. Reconnect with people...forge new friendships with classmates I have something in common with now...relive old times with the old crew...get all dressed up and laugh at how shocked people are when they see how many tattoos ole goody-goody Carrie Schroeder has...

Then stupid Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino had to go and remind me that I wasn't popular...and though I've turned out pretty decent, and have a super job that I think is super cool...I still feel like I'm in high school most of the time.

Am I ever going to feel like an adult? I can just imagine walking into my reunion and turning into an insecure nutjob. (one of the less charming of my many personalities)

Has anyone been to a reunion? How do these things work? 

I love meeting and talking to new people...or, new-ish since I haven't seen most of them in 10 years. Is it all one big happy family like I want it to be, or do the cliques come back?  

Because I was in the "I'm in this clique 'cuz I don't fit into any of the other cliques" clique.

All this thinking is really making me want to reconnect with my old, close buddies from high school. I lost touch with some of them naturally...one close girl friend and I haven't talked in forever and I think things ended cruddy but I'm not sure...oh, and I married and divorced one, so...yeah...

I think I've almost talked myself out of going. One reason? At the risk of sounding like the Wicked Witch of the West, someone suggested doing something they can bring kids to.

No thanks! 

 

 

Water Your Own Yard

I'm not one that should give relationship advice.

Married at 21...divorced by 25...married again at 27.

I said in my wedding vows--the second ones--that my relationship with Mike is "The perfect combination of chaos and comfort, of peace and passion." And that's really how I feel...I was not planning on getting married again so soon, but it was just right. Not boring, not easy, but I love him, and "we're better together than apart...it's you and me against the world, baby."

Ah. Wedding vows. So we go from that to reality.

Honestly, to think of 20, 30 years from now scares me.

Will we fall apart? Will we change? Are we still going to love each other? 

Not my whole world, but a part of it has been turned completely upside down, and I'm not sure if 2 people can really stay truly in love anymore. 

Maybe I should have just given into my hippie, liberal tendencies, "lived in sin," and shunned the institution of marriage.

But I am committed to NOT making the mistakes I see around me. Here's the plan...what we've committed to do so that things don't get so bad that we get to the point of hurting each other beyond what we can forgive:

• Talk before something is a problem. It may seem like we have a lot of "little talks," but those little talks get things out in the open, and let us fix problems before we end up having a big fight!
• Walk a mile I'm not always right, (don't tell Mike!) and he isn't either. It's easy to see things from only my perspective, but he's a different person...and I love that! Oh my gosh, I could not stand living with someone exactly like me! He's had different experiences, sees things differently, handles things differently than I do. So if we disagree, or he does something I don't understand, it's important that I try to see where he's coming from...and realize that his intentions were most likely coming from a good place.
• Act like he's still my boyfriend Let's get real. I'm not even going to pretend that I'm not wearing pajama pants, an old T-shirt, and my glasses with my hair all crazy right now. BUT, just because I'm married doesn't mean that I don't have to try to look nice for my husband. I want to keep myself healthy, fit, and try to take a little pride in my appearance most of the time.
• Take care of each other We tell each other when we need help, and we don't get bitter about giving help. I want Mike to know that I'm always there for him when he needs me.
• Commit to fight If we hit a rough patch (and I'm assuming we will) We're not going to give up. We'll sacrifice sleep, money...whatever it takes to fix our problems.

It comes down to what this song says: "Water your own yard...when the other man's grass looks greener, water your own yard."

I don't have all the answers, but I'm trying. I want to be the couple that makes it...even though we drive each other crazy...I want us to grow together, not apart.

I want us to learn from each other, to make each other better people.

I didn't try with my last marriage...I want to try with all my heart with this one. I don't want to give up. I want to do the work, every day.

And I hope he does too.

On a completely unrelated note...Cody Canada and the Departed...bad ass. IF you like the above.

LOVE,
Carrie