Water Your Own Yard

I'm not one that should give relationship advice.

Married at 21...divorced by 25...married again at 27.

I said in my wedding vows--the second ones--that my relationship with Mike is "The perfect combination of chaos and comfort, of peace and passion." And that's really how I feel...I was not planning on getting married again so soon, but it was just right. Not boring, not easy, but I love him, and "we're better together than apart...it's you and me against the world, baby."

Ah. Wedding vows. So we go from that to reality.

Honestly, to think of 20, 30 years from now scares me.

Will we fall apart? Will we change? Are we still going to love each other? 

Not my whole world, but a part of it has been turned completely upside down, and I'm not sure if 2 people can really stay truly in love anymore. 

Maybe I should have just given into my hippie, liberal tendencies, "lived in sin," and shunned the institution of marriage.

But I am committed to NOT making the mistakes I see around me. Here's the plan...what we've committed to do so that things don't get so bad that we get to the point of hurting each other beyond what we can forgive:

• Talk before something is a problem. It may seem like we have a lot of "little talks," but those little talks get things out in the open, and let us fix problems before we end up having a big fight!
• Walk a mile I'm not always right, (don't tell Mike!) and he isn't either. It's easy to see things from only my perspective, but he's a different person...and I love that! Oh my gosh, I could not stand living with someone exactly like me! He's had different experiences, sees things differently, handles things differently than I do. So if we disagree, or he does something I don't understand, it's important that I try to see where he's coming from...and realize that his intentions were most likely coming from a good place.
• Act like he's still my boyfriend Let's get real. I'm not even going to pretend that I'm not wearing pajama pants, an old T-shirt, and my glasses with my hair all crazy right now. BUT, just because I'm married doesn't mean that I don't have to try to look nice for my husband. I want to keep myself healthy, fit, and try to take a little pride in my appearance most of the time.
• Take care of each other We tell each other when we need help, and we don't get bitter about giving help. I want Mike to know that I'm always there for him when he needs me.
• Commit to fight If we hit a rough patch (and I'm assuming we will) We're not going to give up. We'll sacrifice sleep, money...whatever it takes to fix our problems.

It comes down to what this song says: "Water your own yard...when the other man's grass looks greener, water your own yard."

I don't have all the answers, but I'm trying. I want to be the couple that makes it...even though we drive each other crazy...I want us to grow together, not apart.

I want us to learn from each other, to make each other better people.

I didn't try with my last marriage...I want to try with all my heart with this one. I don't want to give up. I want to do the work, every day.

And I hope he does too.

On a completely unrelated note...Cody Canada and the Departed...bad ass. IF you like the above.

LOVE,
Carrie

Big News!

Nope, not pregnant. HA!

Soon, we will no longer be apartment dwellers, we'll be moving into a house. Official "big stuff" moving day is August 20th, but we'll start moving little stuff this weekend.

We are able to get out of our lease, and I don't hate this apartment complex at all...it's really nice, and management is great. I'd recommend Quail Creek in Southwest Springfield any day.

But our little family of 3 is ready for a house, and ready to pay a little more a month to live in one.

Here are some things I'm looking forward to:
Backyard! Little Cash has to smell every single blade of grass before he decides where to do his business...now we'll be able to just toss him out the back door! (seriously, have you ever had a prissy dog...in an apartment...in the winter?)
Bigger kitchen that I'm so excited to cook in. Just call me Giada. Except I won't pronounce my Italian ingredients nearly as obnoxiously.
Actually being able to do my workout DVDs P90X requires a good amount of jumping, and we currently live on the second floor. Now I can get "super fit, X-style."
Just feeling at home, which I haven't really felt in a long time. To me, an apartment just feels like a perma-hotel.
Growin' herbs in the backyard I mean like basil.
More room! No more bill paying station/dining room table/random, yet important things/mail gathering corner.

So while I will miss the adorable old man downstairs, and the sweet neighbor dog who we refer to as Cash's girlfriend, I think this will be a good move for us!

After moving comes the fun part: decorating...rock n roll style!

Biiicycle!

After several weeks of "training," I guess you could call it, I finally got to do my first big group bike ride, the Tour de Cox.

We started in Springfield, at Cox South, and rode to Willard, Republic, by Wilson's Creek Battlefield, and back to South Springfield. 43 miles in all! It was pretty easy this time, since I'd rode it the last 2 weeks, and the weather was much nicer this week...not nearly as hot.

One of my favorite parts of the ride: this adorable bulldog puppy! He was at the first and last rest stops, and I wanted to bring him home!

There was also a 62 mile option, which I probably could have done, but I might still be riding right now!

Here's me and dad! He may not look super fit, but he definitely has biker legs!

I am wondering when I will get mine...

Happy trails! I'm going to take a nap.

Heart Like Mine

"I heard Jesus, He drank wine
And I bet we’d get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet He’d understand a heart like mine"

I love me some Miranda!

And I love this song!

It has been a crazy week with a lot going on...hard work...some good things, and a few bad have kept me busy.

And I'm trying to remember that through any situation...even those that we may not find exactly referenced in the Bible, God still understands our hearts.

And I REALLY hope he understands an occasional beer-drinking, rock n roll loving, tattoo getting, sometimes potty-mouthed, Left-Wing leaning heart like mine.

I think he would.

My Country Song

There’s an wild, wild party down that old dirt road
In my hometown, I could get there with my eyes closed
Got an old coon dog in the back of my Ford
Or it can be a Chevy if they’ll pay me more

Chorus:
Cuz we like out country itemized
Like a pair of jeans that fit just right
And a farmer’s daughter on a Friday night
That’s how a country boy can survive

We got Hank and Waylon Johnny and June
And I brought some Nickleback, I like them too
Hey them boys are outlaws, they gotta be
I saw them once on CMT

Chorus:
We like our cliches one by one
Like workin' hard till the day is done
And wakin' up with the risin' sun
Just to grab some cornbread on the run

Why don’t ya pass me an ice cold beer
You know we only drink domestic round here
And we’ll get down in that Georgia clay
Don’t worry bout what your daddy’d say

Chorus:
Girl you got it goin' on
Gettin down with you just cain’t be wrong
Does it sound like I’m playin’ a hip hop song?
Can ya hear the crickets singing along?

Tractor, tractor, did I say tractor...

The record company likes it when I say tractor...

Saturday Update

I am so bad at taking pictures! I need to take some pictures during my new Saturday Summer Tradition...

Long, ridiculous, hilly bike rides with my dad.

I think when I left for college my dad wanted to buy a motorcycle and mom wouldn't let him, so dad decided to take up biking.

He really knows a lot about it, and I'm learning too. I didn't realize there was so much to riding a bike: when to shift gears...how to climb hills...when to not whine.

We've been going about 30 miles every Saturday for the last 3 weeks. The first week I thought that I was going to die, then I got better at it, and today I'm not even tired! It's very cool to watch myself improve at something.

We start at the Finley River Park in Ozark, and ride almost to Rogersville and near Sparta on back county roads.

Dad would like me to do the MS150. I'm not sure I could make it this year, but I'd definitely like to try next year.

Not only am I glad I get to spend time with my dad, but the exercise is great for both of us, and I think it makes him happy that I want to share one of his favorite hobbies with him.

In other news...we've just been going B's to the W at work. as stressful as my job can be sometimes, I love it and can't imagine doing anything else.

Mike and I are also brainstorming what to do for our upcoming "stay-cation" the first week of August.

On the table: Ozark Empire Fair, taking Cash to the river, hitting up Moonshine Beach, and maybe a trip to Eureka Springs!

But currently, we are watching Diners, Drive-ins and Dives and talking about chicken fried steak.

This is where the cowgirl rides away,
Carrie

Lyrics I'm Loving

"Without you I’d survive
But I’d have to have the notion
That I could live this life
Just going through the motions"

Those lines are from Keith Urban's "Without You."

They really struck me the first time I heard them. I think it's a great way to describe a healthy, true, real love. There's a lot there.

To say "without you I'd survive" pretty much goes against what a lot of song lyrics, movies, and fantasies say. That's why I like it.

It's a refreshing counterweight to the usual, "you're the air I breathe..." "you're the milk in my cereal..." "You're the reason I wake up" crap.

Though it makes for a nice sentiment, and melodrama has it's place, (God knows I can be melodramatic!) that's not love that works in the real world. In the real world, even if you've found your soul mate, you still need a sense of self. I can call my husband "my other half," but I'm still a whole person.

(let's pretend that makes sense, I was never good at math.)

An attitude that you need someone else to survive equals bad self esteem...which equals an unhealthy relationship.

"I'd have to have the notion that I could live this life going through the motions" is another gem. I love it, and I totally agree.

"Going through the motions" is what I felt I'd been doing before I met Mike. It's why I ran away from the life I started when I was too young to know what I wanted. Whether or not my decisions up to this point have been right or wrong, I know that I'm in the RIGHT place now.

This line, to me, says, "yeah, I could make it, but with you I'm really living...truly enjoying life! It's an adventure, it's exciting with you." It would be nothing...without you.

Personally, I think it's much more flattering to be wanted than to be needed.

That's what love is.

Carrie