The Way to Be?

"Childfree"

It's a word!

I've been doing my research!

Now that Mike has made an honest woman out of me, of course, there's the kid question.

And right now we're thinking about it. As we get ready to build our life and our dreams...buy a house...plan careers...

I know people say, "if you wait until you're ready to have kids, you'll never be ready." But I don't want to buy a pricey house only to realize we can't afford it when Little Mike or Little Carrie comes along.

We're leaning toward NOT. That's right...NOT. I'm already an outcast in Sunday school, so being the only woman who hasn't brought forth life from my womb won't bother me.

I can't speak for my hubby as to why he feels the way he does.

I can just say that I have never had that maternal desire or instinct. It's not that I hate kids, I just don't think I want to be around one all the time. I am always stressed out, always worrying, and always high strung. I don't want to bring up a kid in that...they'd turn out like...uh, me.

I like my time alone, I like to eat my food when it's hot, and I LOVE sleep.

But, aside from the "practical" reasons I could list for not having kids that people would try to argue with me about, or give me a parent's 3 favorite words, "it's worth it," it's really just that I don't really, REALLY want any. In my opinion, that's the only reason people should have kids.

Not because it's just something you do, not because you think it will save your marriage or make your spouse grow up, not because you want someone to love you.

I get annoyed when I see people who just have kids. Just because the ole biological clock is ticking. Then the child doesn't feel really welcome and loved and a part of the family. Babies are cute...angsty teenagers are not.

I have concerns, my plan isn't flawless. Who will take care of me when I'm old? But I shouldn't bring a baby into the world and already give him a job! Who am I going to spend the holidays with? Okay, friends, I can cook, so...I should have somewhere to go for Thanksgiving!

I've told people I feel this way, and I get the "WHY NOT? Why would you not want kids?!"

Why am I the one that has to justify my decision?

I will never say never. I am still young, and could totally change my mind. I found that word "childfree" and realized there's a community of people who seem pretty grumpy and have an "us against them" mentality toward people who DO have kids. I don't want to be like that!

I just want to be me. And I want it to be accepted that I am still a whole person who loves life and has a great marriage, whether I have kids or not.

I could write so much more...but I won't. All the parents I know are great; I have so much respect for them.

I just don't want the burden of proof that I'm worth something to be on me...just because I don't think the world needs a mini me.

Besides, I have this:

Okay...Fine!

I really like this song.

As with most phases we go through (do almost-30-year-olds still go through phases?) I think this one is over.

I have been acting like a country music elitist...but the TRL-watching high school sophomore in me still loves a good, catchy song. I can't help it. And everything I've heard from Taylor Swift's latest album makes me want to go on a windows-down road trip.

What got my 'tude all revved up about current country sucking:

generic laundry lists songs that mention tractors, Jack Daniels, cut-off jeans, and Johnny Cash.

blatant product placement.

and my former Aussie obsession, Keith Urban's last new CD's, which sound like watered down adult contemporary pop instead of the groovy country rock I know he's capable of.

to name a few.

But I think there ARE still some awesome country artists still making music and writing songs from their hearts and life experiences.

Regardless of genre, I think Taylor Swift is one of those artists.

And Brad Paisley...WOW! This guy is super talented. Original...funny and amusing while writing songs you can listen to over and over...and respectful of the classics while doing his own thing. I absolutely love his new song "Old Alabama"

Side Note: I had 4 tapes that I listened to when I was a young kid: Ricky Skaggs, Alabama, Hank Williams Jr. and Mel McDaniel. That, and watching CMT with my Grandma Schroeder and Uncle Gary made me the music lover I am today.

So I suppose this post is me coming clean. Good music is good music, and no matter what it is classified as, it can still be appreciated and respected.

I've been around more elitist hipsters than I care to mention and I DON'T want to be like that.

Now I guess all that's left to do is drive my old pickup down a dirt road, crank up the Hank, and pop open a cold beer.

If I could only find my cut-off jeans...

My New Name!

Carrie Anne Schroeder Winchel.

I suppose it's not a huge deal...I've changed my name before, after all.

But I still think it's exciting, and I'm glad that this time I've got the Schroeder in there. I had that name for 21 years, and it's my parent's name...a big part of who I am. Plus, my brother probably won't have kids and all my cousins are girls, so I feel like I want to keep it going a little longer.

And IF (BIG IF) I have a kid I'll probably make their middle name Schroeder.

Carrie Winchel. I'm going to have to get used to that. It's so funny to think that I have Mike's last name. We were both with other people when we met, and were friends for years before we dated, so for a long time, I never even thought about having his name!

I see changing my name as a way to tell the world that we're on the same team. We're the Winchels Dammit! It doesn't feel like I'm losing my identity or giving up anything.

I've even made sure our "kid" shares our surname, so he's not a little bastard puppy anymore. Cash Waylon Winchel. I only call him that when he's in trouble.

When someone refers to us as "The WInchels," though, I kind of feel like we should be starring in a 50's inspired sitcom.

That would be a really weird show.

My Name is Carrie and I Watch "Real Housewives" Shows

Oh, Bravo...you're so sneaky.

As I'm flipping through the channels when Full House reruns are on commercials, you suck me in with the nice shots of New York City, or a fancy dress, or a cute little accessory dog chilling by a pool.

I like to think of myself as a progressive, intelligent woman, so why do I like to watch this drama fest?

Here's what Mike sees when I watch these shows, "Is all these b#tches do throw parties and fight?"

Yeees....(embarrassed face)

Whatever.

I think there must be some part of us that enjoys drama. Some people thrive on having it in their own lives...while others like to watch it on TV. I certainly don't fight like that with my girlfriends...maybe it's because we're too busy working and/or mothering our own children to throw mixed drinks at each other.

But I'm not going to try to justify this guilty pleasure.

I'll just dish...full on disclosure.

My favorite H-wives are Orange County and New York.

I also enjoyed the first season of Beverly Hills. New Jersey is what sucked me into the franchise, but now that Danielle is gone, it's not as much fun, and I'm not particularly enjoying the Teresa-fest.

I think my favorite part of the Housewives shows are not the insane fights, but the little peeks into their lives and their quirks. I'm pretty sure Bravo can edit the high school drama however they want...

But hearing Alexis get Biblical when I don't think she knows what she's talking about...watching Teresa say she's "not a stage mom" as she puts makeup on her 8 year old before a dance recital...OH! And Dina bathing her hairless cat, Grandma Wrinkles, in the sink...those things you can't edit! These gals are hilarious.

So I'm telling myself it's okay to watch as long as I don't start acting like a Real Housewife...which makes me wonder what a Springfield, MO version of the show would look like?

Back to the Grind

We had SO much fun in Myrtle Beach!

It was seriously the most relaxing, stress free vacation I've ever been on. Mike and I make a good team...we dealt with cancelled flights and getting lost without fighting!

We are headed back to work tonight. I expected to be sad (like I was the day after the wedding) but I'm ready to be home.

Every other vacation I've taken I DREADED coming home...but now things are different. I am super pumped to come back to my life. I finally feel comfortable in my world.

I am looking forward to summer: Cardinals games, pool time, cooking, taking Cash to the park...

I enjoy my job, I am ready to go back to work.

I have several friends who are expecting babies soon, so I look forward to being a part of their lives. Ya'll HAVE to let me be Crazy Aunt Carrie!

Aaaand we are looking to buy a house next fall. That will be challenging and fun. I can't wait to paint and decorate!

I have so much to look forward to...I'm hoping to stay connected to all of the great people who made my wedding day so much fun (everyone!) I want to keep "working on my fitness," as Fergie would say. (the pop star...not the Duchess) And I am hoping to be more crafty. I think shopping at Hobby Lobby does that to people.

Oh, and I need to get a library card! I miss reading. Not planning a wedding leaves one with much free time.

More fantastically written posts are coming, but I did take a sleeping pill so I could go to bed at 3 pm...back to my old lady schedule...so I'll say "good night."

Off to the Beach!

We are headed for Myrtle Beach, South Carolina this morning!

I am super excited, since this will be mine and Mike's first real vacation together...which I think is great. I know we didn't really do things the "traditional" way, as in we lived together before we got married, etc. but I think this is a great way to start things.

Mike's never been to the ocean but he loves to swim, so I think I'm incredibly lucky to be with him when he discovers the beach. I just know he'll love it!

That's one of my big goals for our life together...I want to keep things exciting, see each other's dreams come true, and truly LIVE life.

My goal for the week is to be the stress-free, fun, laughing, easygoing, crazy Carrie that I know Mike wants me to be. No worrying about work, no freaking out if things don't go as planned. Which shouldn't be a problem since we literally have no plans. None!

The airport should be interesting...I've only flown once and Mike never has, so I'll have to wait and see how that goes.

And everyone has been telling us to "take lots of pictures!" I'm SO bad at remembering to take pictures!

I DID start a Flickr account. Not sure what to do with it yet, but I'll figure it out.

I hope everyone has an amazing week! I am sure I will!!! ;)
Hey, we work hard, so I think we deserve it!

The Hangover

Married!!

Aside from the beginning of the ceremony getting completely screwed up, my wedding was better than I could have ever expected.

It was amazing spending time with my friends Hannah, (who made my hair absolutely beautiful. OMG I looooved my hair!) Sabra, (who was so much help it's not even funny and now my mom wants to adopt her) Allison, (who helped me decorate and kept me from being too mean to Mike while we decorated) Jasmine, Shannon, and Heather kept me laughing and calm!

I also loved spending time with Mike's friends and with people from work I don't get to see often enough. Our wedding was exactly what I wanted it to be...an amazing rock n roll party with all of our favorite people.

And now it's over. I cried when Mike read me the vows he wrote last night...but I've cried 4 or 5 times today! I had SO much fun last night, I felt so loved, and honestly, proud that we pulled it off. I was overwhelmed that so many of our friends pitched in to help, even though we didn't give anyone a title of "bridesmaid" or "groomsdude."

Anyway, I really feel sad that this night we worked so hard to make happen is just a memory. It was over too fast.

I'll feel better tomorrow...when we leave for Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I am just having a kid-after-Christmas moment. I really and truly am looking forward to spending my life with Mike.

Now that we aren't practicing our first dance and I'm not stalking wedding websites like a crazy lady, I will hopefully get back to blogging more!

I will share how thrilled I am that I heard the best thing any of our guests could have said so many times: "I love the music!" We worked so hard on the playlist and it made my WEEK that people enjoyed it! (There was, like, 6 hours of music that didn't even get played!)

I feel the tears coming again, so I'm going to watch TV on the couch with my...husband!!!

--Carrie Anne Schroeder Winchel