Nothing to Show But This Brand New Tattoo...

I high school, I would have probably been voted "Least Likely to be Covered in Tattoos."

Now look at me. My dad really doesn't understand them. I think my mom was on board until I got the leopard spots around the horseshoe. (That's a new one.) But I absolutely love them...

At 19 I got my first tattoo in Columbia when I was a freshman in college. The Kanji symbol for "eternity" on my hip. It's slightly lame. I wanted a tattoo because I was an angsty kid who had just broken up with her first boyfriend, and I wanted to be a badass.
So I got $60 of my parents money from an ATM on campus and walked downtown with my friend Robert.
I picked eternity because in Bible study, someone had said something like, "live your life in the light of eternity." Perspective and such. Aaand the lame-o-meter climbed from "slightly" to "very" after I typed that.

Then came the rest....a creeping addiction. Tats are not cheap. (good ones, anyway)

With my first few, I thought they all had to have some deep meaning. Now, not so much. It's basically permanent jewelry!
I like the way my tattoos make me look, I like the vibe it gives me, I like the experience, (yes it hurts!)

I do have some rules for myself: I don't spend "bill money" on tattoos; and I make myself think about it...for awhile before I get one. I don't have one certain "guy" I go to. I think I probably miss out on discounts by not staying loyal, but this way every piece has a different story.

I prefer not to debate religious do's and don't's when it comes to this. I'm not a Bible scholar...and I know where my heart is with God.

I'm eventually going to have a half-sleeve on my left arm. I'm going for a country/rock 'n roll/vintage theme:

Roses, guns, leopard, favorite-song-inspired, cameos, paisley print...

I want to get at least one more piece done before the wedding. Lucky for me, I'm marrying a guy who thinks my tats are pretty hot! (and I think the same about his!)

Speaking of wedding..3 months?!?!?

It's been such a long time...

Since I've done a blog post.

When it's been a long time since I've done something, I like to announce it in song...to the tune of "Long Time" by Boston.

I notice my last post correlates with the start of my current job. Which can be quite draining. So I'm just going to say I've taken a break from blogging.

I also think I haven't been on here because...I don't know...I guess I assume my life is kinda boring. I would like to write about stuff other than myself too!

So...on to writing about myself (HA!)

I am absolutely loving my new job! I have adjusted to working overnights (11 p.m. to 7 a.m.) pretty well. Though my life is a routine-fest now. In bed by 2:30 p.m! And passed out by 7 p.m. on Friday.
I love writing and putting together a show...I really want to keep learning and making our show better.
2 weeks of blizzard-ing is wearing on me, though. I will be so ready for a vacation in May...which brings me to...

Wedding! Or: "effin' wedding." I should probably be getting my tail in gear. We have the place, food, and invitations. We still need someone to marry us, decoration plans, dancing plans, someone to operate our music playlist, and (maybe) a photographer.
Honeymoon plans haven't been decided yet...either road trip, or going to the beach somewhere on the East Coast. Depending on how much debt we want to get into!

Oh! and my family got us our wedding present early for Christmas! A red Kitchenaid stand mixer with a pasta attachment! And, yes... I have used it! And it's fantastic.

In fact, for Valentine's day I'm planning on making homemade ravioli and a red velvet cake.

I also signed up for twitter this morning. And I am evidently not savvy enough to figure it out. I mainly want to use it to follow local news so I can be as in the know as possible. Apparently all the hip, cool, rad kids are doing it. My ID is tatgalqueencity. I now realize it would have made more sense the other way around. Oh well.

AAaaand my dog is still adorable.

Spooky Halloween Cake

I'm not the biggest fan of Halloween...it has nothing to do with my beliefs...I think any "evil" meaning the holiday may have once had isn't what people have in mind when they dress their kids up to get candy. (That's just my opinion, and I'm not interested in debating/arguing it, by the way!)

I actually really like scary movies and I love fall. I'm mainly just cheap and think dressing up (or more specifically, spending money on a costume) is a waste.

Anyway...Halloween is like Mike's Christmas, so I didn't want to be a Hallow-scrooge. So I decided to get into the spooky spirit my own way. By baking a spooky chocolate graveyard cake...ooooo...ooooo...

There's a new show on the food network called Dessert First. Imagine my excitement! The host, Ann Thornton is adorable...and the show is all about...dessert! Last week on her first episode, she made a "Spooky Graveyard Cake." Since I knew I was going to my friend Jasmine's to watch scary movies this weekend, I said, "I want to make that cake!" It's basically all I've talked about all week. So after spending too much money on supplies, making a few of my own tweaks/adjustments to the recipe, 2 days in the kitchen, and only 1 crying episode...I am on my way to becoming a culinary diva! Here's how I did it:

Ann's recipe is here.
I didn't make the cake from scratch, though. I used Betty Crocker Milk Chocolate cake mix...with a few changes:
I used 1/3 cup of unsweetened apple sauce in place of the 1/3 cup of oil. This makes the cake super-moist, and I'm going to tell myself it's also a bit healthier.
The recipe on the box calls for 1 1/4 cups water. I used coffee for about half that amount. A trick I saw on Barefoot Contessa, another Food Network show.
And a box of chocolate pudding.
The cake goes into 2 9" rounds...350 for 25-ish minutes. I rotated them in the oven halfway through.
Tip: Flour is your BFF if you're making cakes that will need to come out of the pan!
I put the cakes in the fridge to cool overnight.

Then was the fun part...decorations! I did all this Friday night.
Decorations included:
Milano sandwich cookies...with scary messages written with melted chocolate and a toothpick,

Pretzel sticks with mini marshmallows...to cover with white chocolate so they look like bones. (More on the White chocolate later. Ugh.)
A chocolate tree that I made by melting a cup of milk chocolate chips and squeezing it out onto foil in the shape of a tree. I made a few sticks also.
I know...they look like poo.
I made a "pastry bag" out of a Ziplock bag with a tip cut in the corner. This is where my lack of patience hurt me...the first time I didn't wait for the chocolate to cool and it melted the plastic bag!

I also used little candy corn pumpkins and chocolate sandwich cookies ground in the food processor.
Side note: white chocolate is a b*tch! I used a double boiler method to melt my milk chocolate and it worked fine. White chocolate is different. (Technically it's not even really chocolate)
If you add anything to it, it seizes up and gets all clumpy and crystallized.
And it doesn't melt as well.

After 3 tries on Friday night (and some tears..."that was my FAVORITE PART of the cake...I can't do anything right!") I did some research and decided to try the microwave. 50% power, 15-20 seconds at a time, stirring in between each heating.

My handsome Mike actually ended up taking care of this for me Saturday afternoon! I love a man who can bake.

I used the microwave method to melt the rest of the chocolate I used for the recipe.

I was super-stoked to make my own buttercream frosting...this was my "wow" factor...and it went great! I think I strained my hand mixer quite a bit, though. I must have a deluxe Kitchen Aid stand mixer...must! Now that I am a morning news producer, getting one of these babies is my next goal in life.

Here's Ann's chocolate buttercream recipe:

• 5 sticks (2 1/2 cups) butter, cut into tablespoon pieces and softened
• 1 teaspoon fine sea salt
• 5 cups confectioners' sugar
• 2 1/2 cups milk chocolate, melted and cooled
• 1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

In a standing mixer fitted with a whisk attachment, (OR a hand mixer...beware of flying sugar!) combine the butter, salt, and 2 cups of the confectioners' sugar until light and fluffy. Add the melted chocolate, vanilla, and remaining sugar. Whisk on medium-high until smooth and fluffy.

Spread about a cup of the frosting on the bottom layer of cake. Then add a layer of cookie crumbs.

Add the next layer of cake and ice all the way around. When I decorated, I wished I'd put more frosting on the sides, for the bones to stick in...
Doesn't that look sexy?

I covered the top of the cake with more "dirt." I tried to put in on the side, but just ended up making a mess!

It's helpful to cut slits where you want the gravestones and tree to stick in the cake.

I put the chocolate tree near the back, and stuck the Milano cookies halfway in.

Then I added the candy corn pumpkins. This brought some much-needed color to the cake!

And then the ever-contrary white chocolate pretzel bones.

You place one diagonal into the frosting on the side of the cake, then break one in half...placing the halves so it looks like the bones are crossed.
And...here's the finished product...

Mike was my "photographer" and he helped a ton!

By the way...the cake was de-friggin-licious!

Happy Halloween...however you decide to celebrate it!

Love, Carrie

Growing Up is Hard to Do

Yikes. That's 22 year old me right there.
4 years seems like centuries. Really. No one that I regularly see now, except my family and my friend Allison, knew me when this picture was taken.

Sometimes I think about my past and say, "Ugh. I was such a mess...I'm totally together now. I have it all figured out."

I've stopped fooling myself.

I was talking to one of my dearest gal pals last week about growing up. About looking around at laundry and cooking and groceries and bills and jobs and...reality...

Sometimes reality smacks you in the face. Sometimes it sneaks in slowly...

It's a hard place in life that not everyone gets to. Some people always know they're going to be domestic, 9 to 5ers who go to PTA meetings and never live too far away from mom and dad.

Some people move off to New York City, or L.A. to see their dreams come true.

And then there's those of us who thought we'd be rock stars, or at least work for them.
We come to a crossroads: bitterness or settling.

OR...we can chill out and appreciate what's good in our lives. We can find someone to go on the journey with us. We can find our place.
Maybe that place is closer to home than we thought it would be.

I don't have to give up who I am, or the person I thought I'd be, just because my life didn't take the direction I thought it would.
Growing up, getting "domestic" as I say, doesn't mean giving up everything that's good for a bunch of bad, lame, boring stuff.
But that's a hard realization to come to...it's a rough patch a lot of people go through.

Here are some things that make me happy about being here in Missouri:

My new job that I really like and I know will challenge me for a LONG time
Saturday bike rides with my dad
Karaoke
Mexican Villa
Cardinals games in the summer
Jasmine, Shannon, Sabra, and Hannah

My TV family

Cheap rent
My little brother
Lunches with my mom...


Lots of Love,
Carrie Anne

Cakes and Catering and Venue...Oh My!

I drug Mike to a wedding show Sunday. I think he enjoyed it more than I did...I got a little defensive when people assumed I wanted to spend 2 months worth of paychecks so I could have a certain type of chair at my reception...

I don't remember what they're called...but apparently there's a hot, new chair trend happening in the wedding world.

So anyway, I had to be reminded to not snap at people, "We're having a small wedding!" "We're on a budget!" "Do I look like I want to spend $2500 on photography?!?"

"They're just doing their job...just nod and smile and move along," Mike says.

When I first met him 3 years ago, I thought he was scary. Now he's the little angel on my shoulder. A very handsome and manly angel.

Anyway-sies...Sunday was productive. We tasted the most delicious cake ever...ever! It probably means that we may have a more traditional looking cake. The electric guitar confection may have to wait until Mike's 30th birthday or something.

Ugh. I'll turn 30 before he will.

Celebrations By Sonja is definitely who we want to make our cake. They use buttercream icing, no fondant, and real fruit filling. The one we sampled had strawberries! Since we are such food network geeks, I figure our cake has to taste out of this world. I hope we can find some way to make it our own and rock 'n roll.

I thought I wanted to have our short and simple ceremony and fun and loud reception/dinner at the Springfield Brewing Company. After the wedding show and seeing how these venues that usually host weddings want to accommodate the bride, I'm looking elsewhere. From talking to the BrewCo, I think I might be an afterthought to them.

So, we are going to go look at the Santa Maria Lounge at the Knights of Columbus Diamond Room. It's really affordable on a Friday. I talked to the caterer there. She's from Simply Delicious. Trying to decide what kind of food to serve will be hard! I think the spinach artichoke dip with the manicotti and a salad sounds good.

And $4 a bottle champagne.

I want to leave all this wedding talk with something fun. I have some really cute pictures of my puppy, Cash, sitting on the couch with the remote control in his paw, but haven't uploaded them yet.

So I'll encourage you to check out this blog my friend Heather showed me...speaking of cakes! Hilarious.

Loves!
The future Mrs. Winchel

My Spot

Minds out of the gutter.

I'm kidding.

Two posts in one day!
I'm off work in the morning, and in a great mood after a good time at a Pampered Chef Party. Yum! Let's just pretend I didn't spend $70.

Anyway...I'd like to use the phrase, "long story short." But I know myself too well so I'll just say I'll make a very long story only semi-long.

I was an English/writing superstar in high school. Everyone told me how good I was at writing poetry, papers, and movie and music reviews. But, as with most things in life there's always someone who's better. Stephanie Hunter.

She wrote this column for the school newspaper that was full of big words, deep, mature thoughts, and clever turns of phrase. In contrast, I wrote a movie review of "What Women Want" starring Mel Gibson that a lot of people liked. I have no clue what Stephanie is doing now, but she made me feel like I wasn't supposed to be a writer.

Almost 10 years later I'm just now figuring things out, becoming my own person, and getting to the place God wants me to be at work, at home, and in my mind and heart.

I say that to illustrate that I had no idea then...I had no idea at 18 when I went off to college...no idea when I kept changing my major...no idea when I planned to run off to Nashville.

My freshman year was spent at Mizzou. I started out as a Journalism major. Then I decided the J-school was too hard so I changed to general media studies. Sophomore year brought me back home to Missouri State University. English Education? Sure, why not.

Then I reunited with my high school dream. I had originally wanted to go to Belmont University in Nashville. I wanted to work in country or Christian music...on a tour...doing something. I'd eventually work up to A & R or marketing at a record company.

I blame this bug on Keith Urban's 2006 CD, "Love, Pain and the Whole Crazy Thing." Love it. One of my favorite CD's EVER. I don't remember why I abandoned my dream in the first place. I know I didn't go to Belmont partly for a relationship that ended when we left for college anyway. Lame.

I graduated from MSU with a Mass Media major/Marketing minor in '07. I still wanted to go to Music City. I'd work on music video sets...I wanted to organize things, call people, do some heavy lifting. I STILL want to work on a televised music awards show someday. I wanted to be a mover and shaker on the Nashville scene. I still want to be Miranda Lambert's BFF.

This was all before the economy went downhill.

But now I'm discovering what I really wanted was to do something that I was meant to do.

Was I meant to be someone's tour manager? Or a record company executive? I don't like where the sound of most country music is headed these days. (It's all the same sound really.) And I've had opportunities to get close to the industry a few times and I frankly don't think I'm enough of an ass to make it in that world.

I'm still here in Southwest Missouri and I think there's a reason. Mike or I would have to get a ridiculous raise that would make it worth a move and the cost of living to leave at this point. I leave that open ended, and will never say never, though!

My father always loved my writing and was always incredibly supportive. He was disappointed when I kinda left that behind. I HATE to say he was right, but...he was.

What I was always after was what I like to call my "Spot." My place...the thing I'm naturally good at without busting my butt trying. The thing that I can do for hours and be amazed that so much time has passed. The thing I look forward to doing.

Not everyone finds their spot. I always thought that I would. Not to say I'm more super-special than anyone else...I've just always wanted a career, not a job. 100% has gone into everything I've done, and I can't give any less. It's just the way I am.

I've been able to do more writing at work in the last couple of months, and I love it! I look forward to going in, the time flies by, and I have heard good things about my work.

The problem? It's not my job. I just do it during the time I used to be bored.

Now I'm pursuing an opportunity to get paid to write. The problem...I have no experience so I'm understandably being kept waiting.

I'd have experience if I had stayed with journalism in the beginning. And, yes, my dad HAS said, "I told you so."

I really want this job. I have so many ideas. I care so much about where I work. I know with some training I can do it. I'm tired of having the word "assistant" in front of my name. This would be MINE and I know I can handle it.

I have found something I'm good at. I'm confident about the things I want to do.

For now, my spot's still open...I just hope if I don't get it this time around, I'll get another chance.

I Miss Working at Forever 21

I have plenty of reasons to wax sentimental about my 2 and a half years spent working in retail management.

I, of course, miss my coworkers...a few of whom I formed what I hope are lifelong friendships with.

I miss the team environment there. I thrived on that and don't get as much of it at my current job.

Even though I know I wasn't the best in the world, I miss being a manager...I like working hard, leading a crew. Doing that really brought out a side of me I don't think I would have found otherwise.

I liked being super busy. I did like helping customers. Most of the time. Sometimes I want to go back, because I think I'd be even better at it now.

I miss the music. Yes, a lot of it was annoying, but it fit the mood of the store. I liked to do my runway walk to the beats when no one was looking.

But this post is not about all the sappy reasons I miss working at the mall. It's about how I want to wear gloves like this:

I want to pair that shirt with these pants and my denim jacket.

I guess this jones-ing for wardrobe experimentation came at me full force at the mall the other day when I was looking around at Claire's and tried on a headband like this:

So cute, right? And now my hair is long enough to wear things like this.

To my surprise, Mike actually liked this on me! I think I might buy it next time I'm at the mall.

Which brings me to answer the obvious question, "why can't you still dress up?

First of all, I go to work at 2 in the morning. I sleep in as late as possible. Show me someone who wants to spend a ton of time getting ready at 1:30 am and I'll show you an 80-year-old who knows who Snooki is.

Second of all, a woman dressed to impress a man, and a woman dressed to impress other women are 2 completely different things. I would assert that we females do the latter much more often than we realize.

My man (and I'm going to assume most guys are this way) seems to prefer me in simpler, more classic clothes. Minimal accessories, hair down, good jeans, and a well-fitting t-shirt or nice top. Dressing slutty seems to go over well too. I took him in New York and Company and it was all, "you'd look nice in that...I like that..."

I like that stuff too, don't get me wrong. That's probably the direction my wardrobe will be moving in considering my current career path.

Getting dressed for work at the ol' F21 every day made me feel like a rock star. I wanted to represent the store well; the company is very fashion forward. I could experiment...That was dressing...mainly for myself...but for other women. That's who I was trying to sell clothes to.

And my favorite girls loved to experiment with their style too. There were days I'd look like one of our crazy-lookin' mannequins and feel perfectly comfortable in the store...then as I was walking to the food court I'd feel all eyes staring at me.

"I'll be honest...there were days you'd get ready for work and I had to try not to laugh," Mike has said.

He's a dude...he doesn't get it.

I loved to mix really girlie pieces with rock-n-roll or tomboy style things: Ripped jeans with a dressy top; a nice dress with a leather jacket; a graphic t-shirt with a cardigan.

I was always trying to find new ways to wear my cowboy boots.

I loved big earrings, chunky necklaces and rings.

Layering...plaid shirts, vests, sweaters.

Fun patterned tights.

Scarves...I freaking LOVE scarves...turns anything into an outfit...I feel like celebrity when I wear a scarf!

I like winter clothes much better than summer duds (layering obsession? Finally relevant again.) So maybe I'll start sprucing it up again.

I'd be much more motivated to do so if I worked during the day, though.

I'm definitely buying that feather headband.